Thursday, 19 December 2013

RanDom

I need some space and time alone
 
pic source : google

December 2013

This month is seriously the suckiest month ever.. i dont know what the hell is wrong with myself.. my mind seems to stop functioning at the most critical and crucial time..

Maybe i need to consume some sort of medicine/supplement for my mental health.

or maybe i need a vacation.... ehhh? over btol..

Now is the tender evaluation period and hearing some deconstructive comments from my client made me feel like a scumbag.. thus contribute to more and more mistakes.. why laaa why laaaa i'm so stupid...

i need to find my inner peace.. i need some space to put myself back together.. i need to.............. buy more shoes.. and bags...

oh btw regarding the unhealthy relationship, i just blocked that guy's number so he can no longer contact me.. haha.. as easy as that.. plus i really don't have time to put myself in a difficult situation since my life is already fucked up..

i think what i really need now is to see some nice scenery or alam semulajadi.. i've always wanted to snap a pic kat sawah padi.. oooo so nice.. but what to do, i dont have kampung in Kedah.. aigooo...

Sunday, 15 December 2013

OBSESSION

I need to buy more shoes

oops i did it again



oooopppsieee.. i abandoned this blog again...... my life has been pretty hectic this lately plus am born lazy.. nothing much i can do about it.... haha..
 
i shall blog on my-almost-forgotten-trip-to-korea pretty soon.. or perhaps next year (if my so and so memory permits) oh and my amazing 1890647th trip to singapore..
 
anyhow, this entry is going to be a boring entry..
 
as stated above in my entry title, yes, oops i did it again... got myself involved in an unhealthy relationship.. not the unsafe sex kinda thing hokayyyy but i considered it as unhealthy as i know that i will be the one heart broken in the end of the day..
 
at times like this, i really2 hate si kentut for making my life so complicated... especially this time of the year.. last few days, 12th december to be precised marked the 5th year i've been a super forever alone single lonely and miserable single mother..
 
i know i've been blessed to have such a cute daughter like Alyaa b
ut sometimes i can't hide this envious feeling seeing those around my age living a happly life.. i forgot what it feels to be missed.. i forgot how it feels to be loved..
 
 
so when someone started caring about me i fell for it easily.. not sure whether it's because of my pathetic lonely life or maybe it is time for me to start a new life.. am i ready?


 
 
am i strong enough to bear the consequences?
 
Dear Allah, please show me the way..