Monday, 28 November 2016

What To Do When You Miss Someone Who Doesn't Miss You Back

What To Do When You Miss Someone Who Doesn't Miss You Back?

You do NOTHING. Just distance yourself from him and anything got to do with him.

I know this lately most of my blog post covers the sadness and vulnerability of my pathetic life but heyyy I'm trying my best not to sober in real life so let me sober here instead.

Anyhow, I'm now experimenting with my feelings, trying to gain back the strength I had years back when I got divorced. I hope it still works. With a twist of course.

This time around I will not let hatred take over my sanity. To hate someone is actually exhausting. Especially when you still have feelings for him.

Sometimes I'm not sure if the reason why I'm trying to let him go is because I fear that he will leave me first or simply because I want to be respectful by giving him the space he longed.

Why do I love this guy so damn much is because he is smart, he is intelligent, he is good looking and he is all I ever wanted in a guy. It's just that I can't have him. He used to care so much about me that I let my guard down for him. Yup, that was my biggest mistake ever. Nothing to regret, at least he was there when I have no one.

People change, so does their needs. I may no longer have what he needs and I may no longer need what he has to offer. Things changed drastically these past weeks. Sometimes we no longer have things to talk over the phone. We no longer hang out. He never asked anything about me anymore, maybe because he doesn't care or he couldn't be bother.

Setting a distance is the best thing I could do now.

The more space you give, the more space you earn.


Wednesday, 26 October 2016

October 2016

Life has been urmmmm uncertain, head over heels, sometimes rainbow sometimes feels like trapped in a sewerage bla bla bla for the past 1 year... I had a really bad depression last few months.. up to a point i even had to prescribe to sleeping pills etc so that my mind could rest.. instagram didn't do any justice, i might look like i've been enjoying life where the fact is i really hate getting up in the morning to live another day.. who would display kepalatan in life anyway?

I turned 1 year working with my current company.. work was hectic, but somehow felt appreciated when i see my KPI (hehehe)

i was supposed to go for my annual balik kampung trip (korea) on 26.10.16 but had to cancel due to having to choose either wanderlust or a new kitchen.. adulthood sucks.. unless if u're anak raja or something..

#misiredkebaya as always ke laut.. I gained another 5 kgs once i vow to lose another 10kgs.. well, that's the usual nadia anyway..

this few weeks i've been reading a lot, meditate a lil bit so that i can have a stable mind to keep my life back on track..

i didn't realise before how serious depression could be until i experience it myself.. never take depression lightly.. never think that 'ala baru kena uji sikit dah terbabas' never ever think that 'sendiri cari pasal'...

i used to think of that way cause i experienced worst before, divorced when i was 5 months pregnant and still a student but i don't know why stupid inconsequential matters got me into depression..

anyhow, may I have a better life after this..

Sunday, 16 October 2016


Jom pegi seberang?

One may view it as a daily joke while the other may view it the other way around.

How funny such simple question that may seem an insult to others might seem like a token of appreciation to some..

When I was younger I used to think the question itself is like an insult. But when someone you dearly have feelings to jokingly ask you, you somehow feel ................. I don't even know how to describe this feelings. 

Sometimes I wish you would stumble upon to my thoughts here, but sometimes I wish you never knew.

Some would say it hurts more to hold on to something uncertain but as for now, call me stupid.